Surrender in Suffering
Faith is the courage to actively show up for and surrender to the process of transformation in all its stages and iterations.—Healther Hamilton
December 8th, 2025
📍Salida, Colorado, USA 🇺🇸
Greetings from the wilderness!
I'm not going to pretend this season has been gentle. It hasn't been for me, and I know it hasn't been for most of the world. Everywhere I turn, people are holding grief in one hand and responsibility in the other, trying to walk forward without dropping either. It's heavy. It's exhausting. And it's real.
But here's the thing I'm learning in the middle of my own struggle: suffering isn't necessarily a sign that something has gone wrong, that you’ve failed, or that God has abandoned you. Some suffering is the result of injustice and broken systems—none of which reflects anything lacking in you. And yet, spiritually speaking, suffering often becomes the landscape where real transformation gains traction.
A little over a year ago, I wrote about how the shit we go through becomes the necessary fertilizer for our growth. It wasn't a cute metaphor; it was the only language I had for the strange alchemy God seems to favor. Composting is slow. It’s messy. It's heat and pressure and decay. And yet, everything that grows from the soil depends on that very process.
This is not the moment to opt out of the process—Not the moment to numb out, shut down, or sprint toward distraction. If you have the safety and capacity to stay present to your own transformation, don’t turn away from it. And if your suffering is acute or rooted in injustice, the “process” may look less like inner work and more like receiving support, protection, and compassion.
Author Heather Hamilton says in Returning to Eden: "Faith is the courage to actively show up for and surrender to the process of transformation in all its stages and iterations."
All its stages—especially the ones that feel like loss.
We don't get to skip the uncomfortable parts and call it spiritual growth.
We don't get new life without old structures breaking down.
We don't get resurrection without burial.
In my own spiritual journey, I’ve seen again and again that resurrection follows a kind of burial—but I want to say clearly: no one’s trauma or oppression is “God’s lesson.” I’m speaking about the inner landscapes I’m navigating, not placing meaning on anyone else’s pain. Some suffering should never have existed in the first place.
Christ is not waiting for us on the other side of our pain—He meets us in it.
Hamilton goes on to say, "There is no need to escape pain anymore. You accept it as essential to the experience of life and enter into it, knowing that you will find Christ in it and it will transform you. It is consenting to bear the pain itself that releases the transformative healing power. As you yourself surrender to your suffering, Christ finds you there, and it becomes a mercy that opens your heart to the compassion of God."
If you want transformation, this is how it actually happens—Not by bypassing the suffering, pretending you're "fine,” or waiting for perfect conditions. Transformation takes root the moment you stop running from the hard thing and actually face it.
Right now, I'm practicing this in real time. Letting myself feel what hurts. Letting the old ways break down without rushing to rebuild. And allowing the buried seed to stay buried long enough to germinate.
It's uncomfortable—yes. But it's also honest. And honesty is the beginning of every spiritual awakening.
So if you're suffering right now, hear me out:
Don’t abandon the process.
Don’t assume the darkness means you're off-path.
If your suffering is internal, emotional, or spiritual, don’t mistake the discomfort for failure. And if your suffering is external, systemic, or rooted in violence, please know that nothing I’ve said here is a measure of your resilience or worth.
The dark is where God is doing the most precise work. And the parts of your life that feel like compost? That's where something new is getting ready to break the surface.
This season is asking something of you—not perfection, not performance, not spiritual theatrics. Just presence. Courage. A willingness to stay awake to your own becoming. You are being formed. You are being strengthened. You are being prepared for what is coming next.
You are not alone. We’re in this together.
With Love, unconditionally—
Jennifer
P.S.—I’d love to hear from YOU! Rather than emailing me or dropping me a DM, please post a comment below 👇
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